For years I have sat and listened as people discuss relationships past and present and all the things that went right and/or wrong. One thing I hate to hear is the automatic assumption that comes when a man says he and his lady have broken up. It’s always the same reply “What did you do?” Why, why, why must the blame always fall solely upon the man? It almost always takes two people to ruin a relationship and truth be told it takes a lot for a man to end a relationship when he is with a Woman he really likes.
Well Fellas, I realize that it’s not always “us” and though there are lots of boys out there giving us Men a bad name, I figured it was time we let the ladies know what they are doing to destroy relationships.
1. The Ex Factor: Too many times women enter new relationships when they are truly still into their ex-boyfriend. No man wants to be with a woman whom he can clearly see is still in love, in like, or in lust with her ex. Let go and move on, or go back to him and save us the arguments.
2. Accepting isn’t Forgiving: Many times in relationships women say they forgive a man for something he’s done wrong; yet they continue to bring up the issue in every argument. Well ladies, that’s not forgiveness; that’s accepting. If you truly forgive him don’t keep mentioning it; if not, then move on without him, and save the drama.
3. Dictatorship: Some women decide that the only way this relationship is going to work is if they control all facets of it. Well ladies, for a true man this will not work. No man wants to be told what to do in every situation- what to wear, what to cook, who to associate with, and how to be a man. Sorry ladies but if you could be men and do what men should do then we wouldn’t be needed. Let go and find a real man who makes you comfortable enough to allow him to be a Man.
|Usain Bolt, Jamaican Olympic gold winner|
4. Usain Bolt’ing: This one is an original lol. Ladies if you can’t learn to slow your mouth down then you will never be able to be with a real man. You talk too much S*** to your man, you tell your friends all of your business, you tell your family all of your problems. You just talk to Damn much. A real man doesn’t want everyone to know when there are problems in his relationship. Not only because it’s not their business, but because you force people to formulate one-sided opinions about them.
5. Assuming: This one is simple yet so complex. Stop assuming that your man is cheating. Stop assuming that he is not where you are regarding the relationship. These assumptions can put us in bad places and can even force a man to do things he otherwise wouldn’t because he has grown tired of being told that he is doing them anyway. Now, a real man won’t allow your assumptions to make him act out, but save the accusations and trust your man.
6. Money Management: Ladies, if you can’t manage your money then you can’t manage ours. Learn to stop splurging and live within your means. To hell with keeping up with the Joneses. If you can’t properly manage the money then there is a problem. Either relinquish the duty or seek help and guidance. Financial problems ruin many relationships and marriages.
7. Previous Cats aka The Story of the hurt woman: Musiq Soulchild said it best when he said “I’m not to blame for the pain that was caused by previous cats.” Stop thinking that we are him. Just because he did it doesn’t mean that I will. We are not the same as him. Allow us to love you and treat you the way a woman should be treated.
8. Insecurity/Lack of Confidence: Ladies, one thing I know your mothers taught you is that you must love yourself and be confident before any man can make you happy. Many times women allow their own insecurities to create a lack of trust in their man. Be secure in yourself, your man, and your relationship.
9. Cheating: Truth be told, women are too forgiving in this category and well, their counterparts are barely forgiving at all. If you feel the need to share what you hold so dear in life with someone other than me, then you no longer deserve to be with me.
10. Closed Mouths Don’t Get Fed: Now I know I told you all to stop talking so much, but you do have to constructively communicate. Talk to us about your likes and dislikes because these things can change. Tell us what we do to make you happy and sad. Tell us about your deepest thoughts and secrets. Become our best friends. Only when you do this can you truly be one with us. We want to know every single thing about you.
If there is a problem talk to us and work it out with us and not anyone else. Communication can make or break a relationship. The quickest way to single life is not communicating.
Bottom line is that it’s not just us ladies. We need you to do your part and trust and believe that a real MAN is going to do his part as well. Remember this as well: Without God no relationship is guaranteed success. Some may work out but until you have the blessing from the most high you are merely wasting time.
These are my Thoughts, and I am Savant